Why Should I?
bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint
against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
In the Feb 23, 2001 edition of the Financial Post, published out of Toronto, a man took out an ad seeking employment. I want to read the ad to you this morning, and as I do, I want you to think about this question: "Would you hire this man?"
The headline of the ad said, "Employment Wanted, Former Marijuana Smuggler." Here's the text: "Having successfully completed a ten-year sentence, incident-free, for importing 75-tons of marijuana into the United States, I am now seeking a legal and legitimate means to support myself and family.
Under "Business Experience," the man wrote: "Owned and operated a successful fishing business, multi-vessel, one airplane, one island and processing facility. Simultaneously owned and operated a fleet of tractor-trailer trucks conducting business in the Western United States. During this time, I also co-owned and participated in the executive level management of 120 people world-wide in a successful pot smuggling venture with revenues in excess of 100 million annually. I took responsibility for my actions and received a ten-year sentence in the United States, while others walked free for their cooperation."
Here are the "Attributes" he claimed: "I am an expert in all levels
of security. I have extensive computer skills, am personable, outgoing,
well educated, reliable, clean and sober. I have spoken in schools, to
thousands of kids and parent groups over the past ten years on "The consequences
of choice" and received public recognition from the RCMP for community
service. I am well traveled and speak English, French and Spanish. References
available from friends, family, the U.S. District Attorney, etc." (http://www.freshministry.org/illustrations.html)
Now honestly, would you hire this man? I don't know about you, but I have mixed emotions when I read the ad. On one hand, he has paid his debt to society and should be given another chance. On the other hand, to be totally honest, I'm not sure if I would offer him a job if I had one available. Would you?
If you wouldn't, why wouldn't you? For me, it is that hiring him would involve a large element of risk. On the surface, I ask questions like, "would he use my assets to conduct illegal activity? Has he really changed? Has he really paid "his debt to society? Would he really be an asset to us?"
But when I go deeper. When I dive into my soul for answers, I'm not left asking questions about him, but about me-am I able to forgive people like Christ would want me to? Forget about this guy for now, I'm not specifically talking about him anymore. In general, am I a forgiving person?
Ephesians 4:32 says NIV "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you."
Am I willing to forgive others like God forgave me? Psalm 103:12 tells how God forgives, it says, "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us." Am I willing to take a chance on others-to risk my trust once again and forgive?
How are you at forgiving? A study conducted by the University of Michigan and partly funded by the National Institute of Mental Health, found young adults; aged 18-44 were less likely to forgive others than middle aged adults (45-64) and older adults (65 and up). Younger adults were also less likely to believe they had been forgiven by God. (http://www.freshministry.org/illustrations.html) I don't mean to suggest by citing this study that middle aged adults and older adults don't have issues with forgiveness, but certainly I want to underscore that young adults, those between the ages of 18-44 do struggle with forgiveness-being able to give it and receive it. How about you?
Tonight, we're going to talk about how to become a forgiving person, but this morning, we're focusing on the question "Why should I become a forgiving person?" On one hand, forgiveness is a totally unselfish act. Forgiveness is the ability to put my own hurt aside for the good of others. But on the other hand, forgiveness is something I do for myself.
The study I cited a moment ago suggested that people who forgive experience physical and mental health benefits. Research also indicates the health benefits are affected by a person's willingness to forgive others, their willingness to forgive themselves, and feelings of being forgiven by God.
For instance, people who forgive reported decreased psychological distress, including fewer feelings of restlessness, hopelessness, and nervousness. Young adults who reported high levels of self-forgiveness were more likely to be satisfied with their lives. Older adults who reported high levels of forgiveness for others were more likely to report increased life satisfaction.
In her book, An Invitation
to Healing, Lynda Elliot writes about a struggle she had with a
neighbor when she was in her twenties. "For months, I replayed the hurtful
scene in my mind," she writes, "talking about it often with a friend. As
I expressed my feelings over and over, my pain became deeper and more invasive.
It was becoming a part of me."