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At first, the only thing
Susan and I agreed on was that we were in love and that we should be married.
We disagreed about everything else.
Our tastes were direct opposites.
To me, ordering delivery pizza, staying home and watching a ball game was
a perfect evening. Not Susan. She wanted to go out, walk around a mall
and eat Mexican food in a dimly lit room.
Though I'd envisioned all
the ways a good wife would make my life better, I never really stopped
to think about the reciprocal nature of the marriage relationship. I've
got to tell you that I didn't have a clue. I understood what I wanted from
her, but wasn't really sure what she needed from me.
"What's wrong honey?"
I'd ask. "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you?"
I wasn't the brightest candle on the cake; I usually didn't know.
For awhile, we worked out
our differences by taking turns "getting our way." I don't quite
remember when it happened, but after awhile, we didn't need to do that
anymore. I started enjoying walks through the mall and Susan started watching
an occasional ball game with me.
It is natural to want to
keep score. "Since I went ___________ with you the other day, will
you do __________ with me?" But real joy comes in sacrificing without
any expectations of something in return.
With time, I've come to value
the things she does, funny how that happens, isn't it? Yea, we still argue,
and sometimes get pretty mad at each other, but we've learned to treasure
our differences as much as our similarities. After all, it was those differences
sparked our initial attraction to each other.