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A Spiritual Wimp

I never really related to "doubting" Thomas. Spiritually speaking, he was a wimp. Me? I always thought of myself as "a man of God" with granite--like faith. But then came the Spring of '96. Within a month of watching my little sister's casket lowered into the ground I was diagnosed with cancer and was told I might never talk again. (Something that comes in pretty handy to a preacher.) Honestly, most of the time, I knew that God was in charge and that He would work everything out in the end. But then again, I had my moments.

I never said, "I won't believe it unless I see the nail wounds in his hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound in his side." (John 20:25 NLT) But I did say things like, "Where are you God?" And "Why are you doing this to me?"

Like Thomas, I had people who loved me, even when I doubted. In verse 25, Thomas confesses his doubt, and in verse 26 the story continues with the events of about a week later.

"Eight days later the disciples were together again, and this time Thomas was with them. The doors were locked; but suddenly, as before, Jesus was standing among them. He said, "Peace be with you." (John 20:26 NLT)

"Thomas was with them," John said. That means, the other disciples accepted him and welcomed him into their fellowship, doubts and all. That's something I love about the church I attend. The people loved me even when my faith was more like wet cement than granite.

"Thomas was with them." A doubter learns to believe in the presence of those who trust. He was in the right place.

In the context of Christian fellowship, love and acceptance, Thomas rediscovered Jesus' peace-and so have I. Peace-not the mere absence of conflict, it is more than that, peace is the presence of faith strengthened by storms.

"My Lord and my God!" Thomas exclaimed. (John 20:28 NLT)

Now that's peace!


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